GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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