watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
