I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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