so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
