i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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