wanna go halves on a baby?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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