The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
