We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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