are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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