so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh god it's open bar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize