If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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