i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
