Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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