how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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