Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
