Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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