that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
