Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
