if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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