dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
