The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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