ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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