For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
