your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
