i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
