Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
