if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
