and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
