i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
