did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My room smells like vodka and shame
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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