I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
