He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
