my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
