new low.... made out with someone while peeing
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I AM VODKA MAN
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
