You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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