We're facebook friends in real life
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
