She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
