Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
