It's Friday. Sex?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
