Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
