Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
