I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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