just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Actions speak louder than pants.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
