hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you didnt know i had herpes?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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