We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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