my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
