my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
