She's JV to your varsity
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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