How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
