My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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