he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
