that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
