Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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