these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
