what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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