I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
