their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
