16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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