is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
