I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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