We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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