don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
