the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
